23 08 2008

Are you watching the Olympics? Have you detected Commie whitewashing by NBC?

Well, actually, I’ve detected a bunch of jingoistic chauvinistic blindly patriotic pro-America-at-the-expense-of-the-rest-of-the-world garbage, with a coat of whitewash to shield NBC’s own rapacious capitalism, but I suppose my interpretation of reality is slightly different than Michelle Malkin’s.


17 07 2008

I’m currently attempting to break myself of caffeine addiction, and seem to be suffering from caffeine withdrawal, so please forgive any grammatical errors or the like.

But to the subject matter posthaste: I’m, again, writing about Time Cube. I have a perverse fascination with it, largely because it’s like reading the thought processes of a lunatic. I mean, that’s pretty much what it is.

Gene Ray, Doctor of Cubicism, has followed in the footprints of James Randi, and offered the sum of $1000 to the first individual to show his theory to be incorrect. Sadly, the majority of it appears to be non-falsifiable, and therefore, no one has, thus far, claimed this prize. However, he makes one claim that is easily demonstrated to be true or false, which is that (-1)2=+1. This, being a simply formulated mathematical statement, can be concisely and conclusively proven wrong. This is what I shall proceed to do, with the enhancement of lovely graphs. I don’t know if this will qualify me for the prize, or whether or not he’ll actually pay me if it does, but in the event that I do, and he follows through, I will donate 70% of the money to charity.

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16 07 2008

If you’re one of those individuals, like myself, who pretty much lives on the Internet, you may have come across an interesting website known as Time Cube. This involving work is the brainchild of Gene Ray, retired electrician, and self-proclaimed Wisest Man on Earth. It sets forth a radical new theory of everything, which essentially states that… erm… well, it’s rather difficult to determine exactly what it states. However, it appears to be predicated upon the fact that the Sun appears in a different location depending on where you are on Earth. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, the Earth is divided into time zones! One might suggest that this is the consequence of the spherical nature of the Earth, but that would appear to be because we’re all STUPID and EDUCATED. No, geometry has nothing to do with it, it’s because each quadrant of the Earth rotates by itself. You see, Gene Ray has noticed that the day can essentially be divided into four portions, sunrise, noon, sundown, and night. These, by the way, are not at all arbitrary, because our perception of the sun obviously transcends silly things like “relativity”, “mathematics”, and “position”. Now, seeing as it’s always one of these somewhere on Earth, and each quadrant is, for some reason, immutably and objectively placed on the Earth, and a fundamental and transcendent unit of measurement the Earth goes through four days every day. This, as described above, is not the result of geometry, but apparently the result of some sort of hyperspatial rotation caused byu the biunding of the earth into squandtants qsoiefhjqasdopgjopi’a AUUUUUUUUGHJHGHHHGHGHHFGHHGHHGHGH0oidahfkalsdfgkhasjl;g.

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